Monday, July 11, 2011

Pursuassive Writing

This is a Rubric that my classmate Darius has marked.

Room 17 needs an Extreme Make Over URGENTLY for their court yard. There are many reasons for this. In Winter we have to close the fields all the time and people get squashed on the court yards. Secondly the year seven and eight block have taken up most of the hard court space which means less space and more squished people. Thirdly, not much children play around our courtyard because of its plain looks. This is why we need to improve our courtyard.

In Winter, most kids do not have access to the fields because they are mostly closed. Which means, that all kids have to get squished on the hard courts, and in the breeze and also on the playground as well. In the breeze a lot of boys and girls like to play with their cards, so you can imagine what it is like.CHILDREN EVERY WHERE! It also means that we get squished even more.

Ever since the Intermediate block has moved in, it has taken up most of the hard court space that used to be there. Kids now have to get put up with fights most days because of the cramped conditions. Unfortunately older kids like to hang around the so called street, which is the Intermediate block. We have found out that year seven and eights like to just sit around and talk. So they don’t really use up the space that is around the school.

Unfortunately Room seventeen's court yard is unattractive. Kids do not like to play around here. It isn’t a kids attraction like a tourist attraction because of all the marks and scrapes across the walls. Besides that, it has a hideous drain in the middle of it which causes people to not play here. And it is also to small for everyone to fit in.

These are just a couple of reasons why we need an Extreme Make Over, you should see it for yourself. We need it and fast.

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